Calm of the Storm
by Bergslaw
Summary: It's in the calm of the storm we discover the truth about who we are and what we want- but more so exactly how far we may have to go to get it. Please review, these are my first R/I stories so I am curious what people think. Thanks.
1. The Calm

The Calm of the Storm

Bergslaw coffecup26

Disclaimers: TNT and TG own Rizzoli and Isles. No profits are being made here.

Rizzoli/Isles

Feedback: Please. I love to hear what people might think of the story. I'm a sucker for feedback and it always inspires me to write. Thanks :)

Summary: It's in the calm of the storm we discover the truth about who we are and what we want- but more so exactly how far we may have to go to get it.

It's funny…no, wait…that isn't the word that should be used. It's not funny. Ironic perhaps? No. That doesn't seem to fit either. What word would work here she wonders? What word describes that moment one's life when things seem to fall into place, the moment when one thinks, "It's my turn to make it happen isn't it?"

But that's when you're also hit with the sudden realization that everything you want to believe in, everything you've dreamed of can be taken away from you in a heartbeat.

Patrick Doyle. Or as they called him in the mob, Patty Doyle.

Would Patty understand? He dedicated his life to crime, but also in the midst of that craziness found his true love, had two beautiful children from that love, and a few months ago, he'd almost died protecting it. Protecting her.

Jane rang her hands together, feeling the familiar ache that came with rainy days like this. Jane would have died for her too.

She almost did.

But Patty's near death was different. He'd almost died at her hands. Her gun. For her best friend Maura, the hope she had of finding out her real mothers identity almost died with Patrick Doyle. That "hope" ironic enough, all but vanished in a heartbeat.

Was life really nothing more than a digital display beeping to a slow steady long never ending beep, erasing a life from this world. Could one moment change it forever.

For Jane and Maura the same thing faced them. A moment. A heart beat. A second that would change the rest of their life.

Tic-tock.

Tic-tock.

If you could go back in time and change one thing. What would it be? Would you have said goodbye? Would you have taken back that argument over something so small and insignificant? Would you hold on to them a little bit longer? Would you risk your life for theirs? Those questions would face Maura and Jane in a way they'd never assumed and the answers surprised them. They may even surprise you.

So now…our story begins…

Feedback greatly welcomed.


	2. The Storm

The Storm…

Sitting calmly Maura held the folder in her hand. It had the test results of one of their most recent victims. A minor discrepancy that may have otherwise been overlooked caught Maura's attention. As it turned out, the discrepancy resulted in an abnormally high BAC level not actually compatible statistically to the amount of alcohol the victim's roommate said he'd been drinking.

The bench in the hall wasn't comfortable but it wasn't uncomfortable. Maybe this was what Jane had been trying to convey to her all those times she'd done work in the ME's office?

What had Jane called it? A chair comparable to CIA torture techniques. Maura doubted Jane really knew of any of those said techniques, aside from the ones commonly seen on the news.

Jane never actually watched the news. No, her best friend really wasn't much of a TV person at all…unless of course it's sports. If the Red Sox or Patriots were on, and a TV was anywhere within a five mile radius, her best friend would find it. Maura had even established these patterns herself growing quite fond of the Bruins. Before Jane, Maura wouldn't have been able to tell you the difference between a field goal and a soccer goal- aside from the commonly acquired medical injuries associates with the lower quadrant. She wondered to herself, sitting patiently in this uncomfortable bench (but not too uncomfortable) was just what wouldn't Maura do for Jane?

The thought brought a grin to her lips.

She already knew the response.

Jane rounded the corner. From the look on her face, it was evident her meeting with Brass hadn't gone well. They were supposed to be going to dinner, but given Maura's need to finish the lab tests and Jane's last minute meeting about their BCU student's death, plans had changed slightly. "Hey, sorry I'm late," Jane said finding Maura sitting in the lobby area. "Test results?"

"Tox screen results were not conclusive so given my uncertainty further into the likelihood as to why our victims BAC didn't match liver functions and…"

"Today! Please Maura!" Jane said cutting Maura off.

"I…" Maura paused. She knew often her rambling drove her best friend crazy, but she was quite sure this had not been one of them. "I wasn't aware I had been…goggling?" Maura saw Jane's tense neck and shoulders flinching with her walk. "Jane what is it? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Jane said walking out the door with Maura tightly closing in behind her, bumping her slightly as they entered the elevator to go to the parking level.

"Little space here Maura," Jane said huffing. Maura's cell beeped indicating a text. She quickly glanced down. It had been from Frost.

**_"Jane and I moved off case. She's upset. Just an fyi"-Frost_**

"I'm hungry," Jane said just looking up at the ceiling. The ding in the elevator indicated they'd made it to the lower level. "You're car or mine?" she asked Maura.

"I can drive," Maura smiled placing the cell back in her bag.

After a few moments of silence Jane looked over to Maura. "Maur I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped. I was just upset about the case. We got pulled."

"I'm sorry Jane," Maura replied. "Did they say why?"

"Some deputy kiss ass managed to convince…you know what? It doesn't matter. It's done. No use crying over spilt milk."

Maura nodded. "Interestingly enough The idiom that there is no use crying over spilt milk means that if we make a mistake and something gets broken, it is not helpful to wail in lament, and instead we should simply clean up the mess and get on with it. Did you know it originates from when dairy animals were milked by hand into a pail? Milk does get spilled occasionally when the pail is tipped over, and then there simply is no getting it back into the pail." Maura stopped speaking a moment, tilting her head. "Okay that was a bit google-ish."

Jane just beamed from ear to ear, never taking her eyes off of Maura. "No…it was 'you' and it was exactly what I needed," she laughed. "Thanks."

Jane looked out to the blackness of the night sky watching the city light reflect under it as they drove on the outskirts of the city. Things were finally getting back to the semblance of normalcy she and Maura had always shared.

This reflection brought Jane pause. 'Always shared up till she'd betrayed Maura and in that betrayal shot and almost killed her biological father.'

There was this uneasiness that still lingered in calm moments like this one. Where once Jane always felt comfort in them, now she felt uncertainty and apprehension.

Could Maura be upset again like that with her?

Would she say appalling things like she did months ago in her office? Like they both did.

Jane closed her eyes. They'd crossed lines over and over again, done and said dreadful things. She knew it was wrong, but felt the self-protective wall go up slightly.

"Look Maura I'm kind of tired…do you think maybe we could skip dinner and just go home? I mean…"

For her part, Maura knew exactly what happened. It happened every time she and Jane managed to get any kind of common ground as of late. "Is it really so shattered we catch fix it Jane?"

"What? No. No Maura. I'm just tired, that's all."

Maura pulled the car over to the side of the road.

"You seem distressed. Disconcerted perhaps?"

"No big words Maura. I'm just tired."

"Clearly, I've disappointment you." Maura felt some anger slipping back into her. 'Here we go again. Two steps forward, three steps back.' Maura blinked unshed tears that began forming.

"Maura please don't cry," Jane hated that. "Maybe dinner wasn't the best idea. Maybe we're pushing this too fast."

Maura looked at Jane now with eyes so hurt and so lost even Jane regretted her words.

"This?" Maura repeated. "This," she moved her hands back between the two of them. "You mean us? You and I? Our friendship? Our life together? Our Lo…" Maura paused "Affection. Our affection for one another. You can't push those Jane. They're either there or they're not. And clearly the answer to that proverbial question isn't hanging in the air anymore. We'll never get past this. We'll never get past you betraying my trust, me words in the heat of anger toward you, you shooting Patrick, Patrick shooting Agent Dean, you sleeping with Agent Dean…"

"Whoa!" Jane's voice squeak as she raised. "What does me sleeping with anyone have to do with anything relating to," she mimicked early hand gesture Maura used to indicate 'them'. Maura opened her mouth slightly but no words came out.

Could Jane really have no idea? Could she really not see?

Jane catch sight of the hurt growing on Maura's face. This was different though. This wasn't something she'd seen in a long time. Not since…

"Maura look. It's not that…"

BEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

Both Jane and Maura turned their heads around to look toward the sound of the car horn, just as it about to strike them from behind. They glanced at each other, instinct taking over; they reached out to each other as Maura's car slammed into the guardrail and then rolled over the edge, down the hill.

The last coherent thought either one of the women had was the face of the other.

Blackness engulfed them both.

FEEDBACK is really appreciated. It's been awhile. I have 6 others stories I've written and plan to post but I want to make sure they're 'working'. Please send me your thoughts and let me know if you're enjoying the story. It means a lot.  
Special thanks to **wolfers** for being the first person who actually sent me feedback :)

And for that here is chapter two. For **all the people following** the story I say thank you as well :)


	3. In It

Blackness was all she saw. Blackness and the conscious thought of how much she ached all over. Smoke. She could smell smoke. And oh God, she felt pain…pain everywhere.

"Jane?" Maura managed to get out between coughs.

There was no answer.

Maura slowly brought her head around to Jane's face. Thank God they were both wearing seat belts. Maura started to lean toward Jane when she heard the clanking of the metal gears and the grinding of her car on something.

What though?

Maura looked out her window and in all the darkness that surrounded them she noticed cliff below…the cliff that seemed to be directly under her car. 'What are we on?' She wondered trying to see but without moving too much.

"Maura?" Jane mumbled opening her eyes slowly.

"Don't…don't move," Maura said slowly reaching over and taking Jane's.

"What happened?" Jane asked touching her head.

"Someone hit us from behind…I…Can you reach my cell phone?"

"Yeah," Jane answered grabbing the phone and handing it slowly to Maura. Quickly Maura dialed 9-1-1.

"Chief ME Maura Isles. I've got two people in a hit and run accident off Rt 6. Our car has been hit over the guardrail we're near…" Maura tried to get a mental picture. Ten minutes. East. She'd pulled over. "We should be near Miller's cliff. I…I think we're almost at it," Maura hesitated not wanting to look down again. "Yes…I don't know." The pain in Maura's chest became overwhelming but she couldn't worry about that. "Hello? Hello?"

"What?" Jane asked trying to search out her own cell but failing.

"The phone's dead."

"What did they say?"

"They said to wait…they'd be on their way."

Wait.

Wait.

"Jane?"

"Yeah?"

Maura began to cry, "I'm so sorry…" Jane held Maura's hand, trying to move as little as possible.

"Maura honey this is my fault do you hear me? I should never have picked a fight. I was having a bad day," Jane began her rant. "I did this. I'm sorry." She paused. "I'm also sorry for that ass-hole who hit us because when I find him I'm going to not only personally lock him up I'm going to hire the biggest, maddest mother fucker to make his life hell for the next 15-20 years."

"I never should have pulled the car over," Maura said coughing. Her chest felt so heavy.

"Is that blood?" Jane craned her head looking down at Maura's hand. "You're coughing up blood!" Jane felt her panic shine through.

"No…" Maura shook her head. She knew it was a lie, and she didn't lie, but just this once; for Jane's sake she'd make this one acceptation. Jane and Maura both screamed when they heard the metal screeching against the rail as the car jolted. "Come on!" Jane yelled. "Like this year hasn't been shitty enough for us! Give us a break!"

"Jane who are you talking too?" Maura wheezed.

"God," Jane answered. "Maura, the blood. What do I do? How can I help?"

"It's okay, just hold tight," Maura said locking eyes with Jane. She didn't know how long she had, and given the amount of blood she was seeing she feared the worse.

"I don't want to die Maura. I don't want you to die."

"That makes two of us," Maura smiled as best as she could.

"I…I love you," Jane said looking down her side. The windshield in front of her was broken. She was pretty sure if she threw a rock she might be able to hear the splash of the lake below.

"What?" Maura asked.

"I…I can't have something happen to us without me telling you how I feel," Jane said looking so deep into Maura's heart she could touch it. "And I know I'm a chicken shit for waiting so long to tell you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all of this."

"Jane…you've got great timing…" Maura said heavily, speaking becoming more difficult as he lungs filled with blood. "Couldn't you save the declaration of love for after we get saved?"

"Would that be better?" Jane asked nervously. They could hear sirens in the background.

"Yeah…" Maura nodded trying to get a grip on what was happening. She was in a car with Jane. She might die. Jane said she loved her. Jane. Jane loved her. Her Jane. "Jane I…"

"Hold on ladies," called voices from above.

"Okay!" Jane shouted back. She looked at Maura who appeared as scared as she was. "My friends really hurt! Make sure the EMT's are ready for her. She's coughing blood!"

"Jane...Jane I love you too."

"I thought we were waiting for that?" Jane asked raising an eyebrow turning her attention fully back to the woman she loved.

"If…If I have..." gasp "... to die Jane Rizzoli…" Maura took a breath, "it's your eyes... I want to..." gasp "... be looking into."

"Maura stay with me," Jane said shifting her weight, damn the car. Damn the drop. If she lost Maura, she may as well fall. Maura's eyes closed slowly. "Damn you Maura open your eyes!" Jane unclasped her belt. "Maura!"

xxxxxx

"Jim!" One of the paramedics called out to the other, "she bleeding!"

"Maura" Jane screamed and reached out for her friend.

"Ms., please stand back….let us help your friend," the second paramedic said.

"Shit we've got a punctured lung here. Major respiratory distress. Minor arrest," he moved around Jane. Her heart beats speeding," he grabbed a needle.

"What can I do?" Jane asked feeling helpless.

"Stay back please," he asked removing gauze. "We need to try to stabilize her before we got the Mass General. Her breathing was usually rapid but now it's slowing," he listened to Maura's chest. "crackles and wheezing," he shouted to the driver. "You need to step on it. She'll could code at any moment." He drew blood and then inserted something clear.

"Hang on Maur, please hang on."

xxxxxxxxxx

Hours later, Jane sat beside the bed of Maura who was still asleep. Frost, Frankie, Angela and Vince had come and gone. Now it was just Jane and Maura again. "Jane?" Maura spoke softly.

"Hey," Jane smiled, kissing her hand. "God Maura, what you do for attention," Jane winked.

"How long?" Maura asked again feeling the pain in her side.

"Just over a day. I was so worried about you," Jane whispered. "Never do that to me again and I promise you I'll never shoot myself again."

"You already promised me that," Maura looked at her. She noticed the large gash. "Your head?"

"Just a small cut. No stitches required," Jane answered. "Thank God you're okay and awake," Jane said feeling her brave front began to dissolve as tears began washing down her face. "I was so worried."

"Shhh," Maura said softly. "I'm okay. We're…" Maura paused. "Are we okay?"

"Definitely," Jane said softly leaning down and kissing Maura's cheek.

"So…I didn't imagine or dream anything that happened tonight?" Maura asked almost as though she doubted her thoughts and memories.

"Nope. All real…and all very much true. I do love you Maura Isles. You're stuck with me," Jane smiled touching her forehead to Maura's.

"I love you too."

FIN

Xxxxxxxxxx

Feedback very much appreciated. Thanks to all the new followers checking out my stories.


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